masturbatorium | this is fuckin' awesome

Skip to Main Content

this is fuckin' awesome

Open RP Post

⊛ find a character you want to play with and respond to their thread. can't find who you want? let me know!
⊛ we can make up a scenario, adapt a meme of some sort, or... something else? whatever the fuck we want.
⊛ if you need ideas, the random scenario meme has just about anything you could want.
⊛ wanna do a picture prompt? we can do some picture prompts.
⊛ FUCK YEAH WE'RE TOTALLY ROLEPLAYING RIGHT NOW!!!

Handy-Dandy Quick Links:
Vanessa Cleveland ⊛ Catty Turner ⊛ Finnick Odair ⊛ Belle Beaumont ⊛ Chloe Saunders
Commander Shepard ⊛ Piper McLean ⊛ Jordan Langley ⊛ Jaime Lannister ⊛ Eli Keaton
Sally Malik ⊛ Corey Carling ⊛ Shadow ⊛ Fenris ⊛ Meetra Surik
Revan ⊛ Keiko Nakagawa ⊛ Alyss Heart ⊛ Ava ⊛ James
Percy Jackson ⊛ Frank Zhang ⊛ Helen ⊛ Jason Grace ⊛ David Levin
April O'Neil ⊛ Galen Marek ⊛ Reyna ⊛ Jackson Swift ⊛ Jaime Reyes
Fran Zhang (AU) ⊛ Jasa Grace (AU) ⊛ Piper McLean (AU) ⊛ Gretel ⊛ Sirius Black
Cullen ⊛ Liv Durand ⊛ Maddie Moss ⊛ Daniel Bianchi ⊛ Finley Odair (AU)
Persephone Jackson (AU) ⊛ Derek Hale ⊛ Raleigh Becket ⊛ Allison Argent ⊛ Liam Hunt
Seph McCauley ⊛ Jonah Kinlock ⊛ Edward Kenway ⊛ Aveline de Grandpre ⊛ Gale Hawthone
Will Scarlet ⊛ Korra ⊛ Carswell Thorne ⊛ Scarlet Benoit

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ she hasn't been in this tavern long, but the man there somehow demands attention despite not saying a word or even looking away from his tankard. she tells herself it's impolite to stare, and worse, it might invite an altercation she doesn't need if he's the regular patron of this type of place, but she keeps glancing up from her ale regardless to sneak looks at him.

he's handsome, but that's not really what's holding her attention ]

[Jaime's used to being stared at. When he was younger, it was his looks, his name, his bravado. After Aerys, it was kingslayer, oathbreaker, Lannister.

Now it's the whispers. Could he be the father of the boy king? (Yes.)

Now it's the golden hand, the one he's attempting to use to pick up his mug so he can take a drink.

The girl has been staring at him for who knows how long now, so he finally raises an eyebrow at her.] Yes?

[ she doesn't shy away from the address, even though she knows she should feel a little embarrassed at having been caught ]

Your dominant hand?

[ gold. now that's flashy ]

[He sniffs, shrugging as he finally manages to get his golden fingers just right around the cup, bringing it to his lips. It's shaky, and he's well aware that at any second, it's going to spill all over him.

He's lost the ability to care.] An unfortunate accident, but my left is just as deadly.

[ Prince, well, former Prince Reginald is not in the best of sorts. He stopped being in the best of sorts about seven meads ago and now the room is sideways. And he is poorer than he was before. Which was pretty damn poor.

He takes a sorrowful seat next to Jaime, ignoring his personal space as he slams his empty tankard on the table with as much noise as he can make ]

WOMEN.

[Tonight is the night Jaime Lannister guts a man for being too obnoxious. There's a clear air of 'do not want' surrounding him, but he has a feeling his unwelcomed guest is too far into his cups to notice.] You have come to the wrong place if you're looking for whores.

[ Reginald looks down as if realizing this...strangely beautiful man for the first time. Because he had, in all honesty, believed that barstool to be empty. And slightly more to the left. And doubled. ]

On account of chivalry, I must ask you not to speak of a lady, any lady, in that particular manner, good sir. [ a hiccup, and Reginald puts his face into his hands. woe is this strange, drunken and destitute prince. woe. ] I can't even go five minutes.

If a particular lady is a whore, then I will call her a whore. If she has any shame in being named for what she is, she should have thought better than to open her legs for a silver stag or two. [Look, he's just saying. There's an air of indifference to his tone. He really doesn't care about prostitutes or anything, but if a drunk idiot is going to go around shouting 'women', he should learn to find where they are.]

Maybe you need a... lady to help you out.

>

Edited (hahahahah html) 2014-03-08 10:08 (UTC)

There are days when Jaime is still getting used to a common life, where he doesn't toss his name out there with pride, throwing his chest and puffing up like a lion ready to roar. He rarely roars anymore, finding it easier to hide in the a bastard's name. Jaime Rivers, not Lannister.

There is no Jaime Lannister any longer.

It eases an old pain in his chest sometimes, when he can hide behind a new name and shed his old skin, but there are times when he wishes he hadn't. When he could run home and bury himself into Cersei again, when he could have an easy chat with his brother. When he could - well, he supposes disappoint his father. That he doesn't miss, even if he is entirely sure that his actions now would be an incredible disappointment.

He's walking around with Hawke and Varric through the market when he hears the dwarf make a comment about a dwarf being born to human parents. Apparently, the reward on his head has gone up even higher. Any dwarf could be victim to the queen with a vendetta. Jaime stills, miss the orange he'd been bouncing in his only hand. It thuds to the ground and rolls away. Generally, Jaime likes Varric. He reminds him of Tyrion in too many ways.

But right now, he has the overwhelming urge to throttle the dwarf, to knock him senseless.

Right now, he is overwhelmed with the urge to find his brother and protect like he should have been doing.

"I just remembered," Jaime drawls for a moment, taking a step back from his companions. "There was something that needed to be delivered this morning. If you'll excuse me."

"If you'll excuse me," Marian huffs, stooping down to pick up the orange her companion dropped. Her tone might be light, but her gaze is sharp as she drags it from the fruit to Jaime. "I paid a king's ransom for these. If you're going to throw them around, at least make sure you hit someone obnoxious."

She tosses it back towards him. One-handed he might be, but she'd trust that one hand's abilities over two belonging to most of the warriors in this city. Which is why she doubts it was simple clumsiness that had the fruit dropping to the ground in the first place.

Varric, Andraste bless him, can read her better than any book he writes, and makes his own excuses as she saunters closer to Jaime. "What needs to be delivered?"

"You paid a couple of silvers," Jaime counters with a roll of his eyes. "If you are that deep in the hole of debt that you can't spare a silver or two, perhaps you should rethink betting against Varric when drunk."

His hand still moves clumsily, even if Hawke has a certain amount of faith in fighting ability. He nearly drops the fruit again, but ends up catching it. His fingers dig into the thick peel, a strained smile tugging at his mouth as he arches an eyebrow at her and then Varric's escaping form.

Gods damn the dwarf.

"A few statues that recently came into my hands." A beat. "Hand."

"Well. Yes, but they were particularly shiny ones. Newly minted. You've no idea how sad I was to see them go, but I did it for you." And everyone else she doled the fruit out to, but he's the one in front of her now. "And I need to rethink betting against Varric period. He's a thief and a cheat, you know."

She claps a little when he catches it, because Marian Hawke is first and foremost, sort of an ass. "I've never heard you mention statues before precisely this moment, Serah Rivers."

"For me?" Jaime narrows his gaze at her, almost laughing. But there's also a strange weight on his chest that has nothing to do about his worry over his brother. People don't do things for Jaime Lannister. People don't even like Jaime Lannister. "And yet you willingly go all in. It's not the wisest of decisions."

He thinks about throwing it at her for a moment. After all, she did say to throw it at someone obnoxious. He can't even begin to think of anyone who fits the bill more than Marian Hawke does. "Has it occurred to you just yet that I don't tell you everything that I do in my spare time, Hawke?"

"I am a kind and generous leader," she confirms with a nod. "--But I don't think I've ever been accused of wisdom before. And be honest with yourself, Jaime, my tendency to go all in is why you're here in the first place. It's exciting."

He's thinking about throwing it at her. She's sure of it. Honestly, she wouldn't mind; she gave all the fruit away. "And no, that hadn't occurred to me, actually. People have the strangest tendency to just come up to me and tell me their life story."

"Your tendency to throw yourself recklessly into situations is why I'm here, otherwise you're likely to have been dead by now." He's been the captain of the King's Guard, after all. A white cloak among gold. Even one-handed, he knows his way around a sword.

Not to mention he is quite possibly the only diplomatic person in this group of insufferable idiots. Herself included.

"Have I?" He regrets it the moment he says it, because it'll bring attention to the fact that he's generally given very little details to his background. He's had time, of course, to begin perfecting the life of Jaime Rivers, but he'd rather keep silent.

Her face lights up, and she nudges him in the shoulder. "You do care." Yes. That's what she's taking from that. "Albeit it a very egotistical manner. You might want to get that seen to, you know."

Marian is perfectly capable of being diplomatic when she wants to be. She just never wants to be.

"Give it time," she says easily, completely unconcerned with the fact that she knows so little about him. "Sooner or later, you all seek solace at my tender bosom."

He makes a face at the nudge, still uncertain about these casual nudges and touches. It's not very common for him. Rare would be a better word for it. "For what reason? It's a good sized ego, I would think. Especially for a one-handed man."

Right, of course that's it.

"There is nothing that I seek from your bosom, Hawke," he says even as he glances down at it, wrapped in armor as it is. He might be a celibate man, but he is still a man.

"Well, people keep informing me that having a large ego is an unattractive trait. I wouldn't want you to mar an otherwise impressive record in the attractive stakes." Honestly, she's noticed his uncertainty about the way she gets up in his space, which might be part of the reason she does it. This isn't Fenris, after all; he's not about to put a hand through her if she breathes wrong.

She arches an eyebrow at him. "And how would you know that? There could be any number of interesting thinks rattling around in there." She taps on her breastplate.

"You're a brash wench, flirting so blatantly. It's true, I am impressively attractive, aren't I? You should have seen the gold hand," Jaime mock whispers. And then realizes he mentioned a gold hand. The bastard, Jaime Rivers, would have no golden hand. But he doesn't let it known that it was a slip up. After all, he's an egotistical shit.

Why not have a gold hand?

"Yes, and I'm sure the mage has thought about it often. And about half the city that isn't terrified of you coming to breathe down their neck for something. Perhaps the pirate wench as well." He knows her name is Isabela, but he's a little irritated, a little preoccupied.

Gold hand? Marian absently files away that comment even as she laughs at him, the sound rich and vibrant. "A gold hand? I can't think of anything as useless as it would be pretty. And I am the brashest of wenches, it's true."

That wins him an eyeroll; she remains unfazed as ever by his comments. "That's hardly fair. I almost never breathe down people's necks. That would be - well, creepy. And the pirate wench most certainly has. Perhaps I'll tell you about it, someday." She neatly skips over the mention of Anders, because some things even she doesn't want to get into. Her gaze turns serious as she takes in the sight of Jaime. "Are these 'statues'--" she does air quotes, "--going to get you into hot water? Because I'd rather know now if I'm to call in the cavalry at some point."

"Think of the weight it would carry though when someone thought you were useless and you used it to knock sense into them otherwise," Jaime laughs. Not that he ever did that, but he imagined it plenty of times.

He makes another face at her, at the idea of being told about her and Isabela. He's... not really intrigued by the idea, when he knows some men would be. Then again, his ideas of attractiveness have been a little skewed for most of his life. "You know who would be interested in the details? Varric. He could spin it into a book."

A frown twitches to life. "Have I done a single thing since joining you that would land me in hot water?"

"Why on earth would I need a gold hand for that? The giant phallic symbol strapped to my back does it well enough." Still, she's pleased that he's laughing, and it shows on her face. Hawke appreciates her companions, even though she spends half her time wanting to throw them off a bridge.

She finds it fascinating that he doesn't react to that, because he's certainly the sort of arrogant ass who seems like he would. It gets filed away as well, a note to poke and prod at it later, or at least remember it should it become relevant again.

The frown earns a laugh from her. "Absolutely. You joined me, didn't you? Can't imagine what you were thinking."

"A higher sense of nobility, of course. You'd do well to find yourself in that particular mindset. If you can do it, what's stopping you?" Jaime shrugs easily enough, that grin still firmly planted on his handsome face.

"Can't really say that I was, if you're seeking honesty here, Hawke." Jaime's been a loner for so long, but once he had taken command of the Kingsguard, that sense of companionship, of brotherhood that he was trying to forge, he missed that. He missed the ease of friendship he had with Brienne.

He missed people when he had never cared about them before. That's why he joined her.

(no subject)

failedhorribly - 2014-03-17 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

kingslays - 2014-03-18 23:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

failedhorribly - 2014-03-19 23:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

kingslays - 2014-03-23 16:20 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only